At my seminar last weekend a man in the crowd had his cell phone go off. I fined him a hundred bucks.
Later on in the event he got cocky – so I asked him if he wanted his butt kicked.
He said “yes.”
I told him to come to the front of the room. He got out of his seat and walked toward me. I took off my watch and Tibetan beads – and removed some sharp objects from my pockets.
When the man got to the front I noticed he had cowboy boots on and a big belt buckle. Boy, did this dude need a lesson. I gave him plenty of opportunities to go to his seat and come to his senses, but oh no, he loved the limelight.
So I took him down with a Chinese leg drop – something he had no idea about and therefore could NOT defend. He fell to the floor like a tree being chopped in the forest. And there, between the rows of attendees – who by now were on their feet cheering with delight, I laced his cowboy boots up in a Farmer Burns toe hold – applied just a wee bit of force and next thing you know he was writhing in pain, screaming.
“Ah Fuck,” he yelled.
“Hey, watch your dirty vile language in my seminar,” I scolded.
I slapped him a few times upside the head. Then I gave him a special Zen Master treatment – hitting various pressure points that would knock sense into his head and body.
He was a troublesome case, though, because no matter how much pain he was in – like a young child, he would always say, “Now I’m really going to kick your ass.” This made everyone laugh.
A few minutes later, after numerous renditions of crying “UNCLE” – he stumbled back to his seat, barely able to walk or talk – humbled yet still determined. He gave himself a 2-year goal to whomp on me. I pointed out that I’ll be training during those two years as well.
Didn’t seem to matter.
Last night I noticed that he ordered $1257.95 worth of my products. He bought the Farmer Burns Catch Wrestling DVD Course. He bought my Combat Conditioning book and DVD’s. He bought my Martial Art of Wrestling book – and much more. Then he left a note saying that he is studying every move I make.
Gotta admire a guy like that.
In the near future look for a short video clip – posted online – of what happened at my Internet seminar. You are going to LOVE it.
In fact, I’m going to invite the “cowboy” up for an old-fashioned ass kicking – and I’m going to film the whole thing in illustrious detail. Stay tuned for THAT one. It will be a Fure-cat special.
Kick ass – take names!