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What an Ass-Tard

Yesterday I was driving my son to wrestling practice and we’re listening to the Schnitt Show on talk radio.

I have no idea what Schnitt’s first name is – but my son thinks he’s funny as hell.

Especially when he refers to Michael Phelps as a “moron” and an ‘ass-tard.”

I’m not in total agreement – and I gave my opinion a couple days ago. Even so, I enjoy listening to Schnitt’s take on the matter. So does my son. In fact, without realizing it, he’s still processing the meaning of “ass-tard” while I’m focused on driving.

“Daddy,” my son says a few minutes later. “I get it. Schnitt took two different words and combined them to make a new word. First he took the words a-hole and retard. Then he cut off the ‘hole’ part and the ‘re’ part and he had a new word: ‘ass-tard.’

I couldn’t help but laugh. Sure, I wanted to correct him and say, “Son, that’s not appropriate language for an 8-year old.” But I let this one slide.

Glad I did because a minute later he came up with a new word on his own.

“Daddy,” he began. “I got a new word. Not only can you say ass-tard, but you can also be a mor-hole.”

“Son, do you know what moron means?” I ask, just to make sure I’m doing my fatherly duty.

“Yes.”

“What’s it mean?”

“An idiot.”

“Okay, that’s close enough. Just checking to make sure, ya know.”

Yes, I’m sure today’s email will spark someone to write me and tell me that I shouldn’t allow my son to talk this way – even in private.

After all, two days ago I was advised NOT to speak to my son about drugs – in particular, smoking pot. I was told that doing so will make me lose rapport with my child. The logic goes as follows: “Chances are he’ll do it anyway – and when he does he’ll think you’re an ass-tard ….” According to this ideal, there’s no benefit whatsoever in giving an anti-drug talk to your child. Let him figure everything out for himself. Don’t give any guidance on the subject at all. In fact, leave him totally in the dark.

Why?

Because I “have blind spots.”

Imagine that.

As a parent, I obviously don’t have a clue about smoking pot or anything else. No clue. And worst of all, because of my blind spots, anything I do to steer my child in the right direction – will backfire. So I shouldn’t even try.

Imagine if I applied this same logic to EVERYTHING about raising a child. Just figure it all out for yourself, son, because I have blind spots and don’t know it all.

Yes, I have blind spots. I’m also hard of hearing, at times. And sometimes I’m lacking in feeling and understanding.

But I grew up in an area where I got to see, first hand, families ripped apart with drug usage. In each and every case, the parents never taught their children a single thing about the dangers of drug usage. And when confronted, they didn’t have a clue about what to do. In each and every case, the drug usage BEGAN with pot and ended up somewhere else. Ultimately, all of us make the final decision on what we do with our lives. But to rule out guidance is a mistake of the highest order.

Especially when I know you can get FAR HIGHER on the things I teach than you ever can with dope.

A perfect example of this is my Dao Zou program. Go see what I mean by watching the clip here.

And remember that you can nab this program right NOW for half-price by typing ‘2009’ into the coupon code when you make your decision to go ahead.

Any time you want to get high – don’t reach for a bong or smoke a doobie. It won’t make you one bit smarter and will make you forget more than you think.

On the other hand, Dao Zou will strengthen your mind and improve your memory in ways you cannot even fathom.

Use the program and you’ll discover this for yourself – with MY guidance.

Matt Furey

P.S. So you don’t agree with me? No problem. You’re still welcome to write in with your nasty comments. I welcome all feedback as it provides great fodder for my next dispatch.

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